In a strange twist of fate, after years of staying put in India (aside from my brief 5 months teaching in China), it took a pandemic and the subsequent lockdown for me to discover my wanderlust. Granted, I am one of the lucky ones. In Kodaikanal, where I live, I have space that I can walk in, a room of my own and plenty of green things to look at, not to mention that at this time, everyone I know is safe and healthy. But I still haven't been able to shake the urge to go somewhere - a beach, another set of mountains, snow, street food, all things of a simpler and less sanitized past.
Now, considering that Covid still poses a clear and present danger to most of our normal activities, I've decided to come up with a list of movies to watch to cure me of my impractical and impossible desire to travel and go on international (or heck, even national) adventures.
1. Hostel (2005)
It took me a long time to work up to seeing this one. With its gruesome scenes of torture and my desire to stay in hostels in Europe at some point in my life, it seemed like the movie to 'drill' through my plans in every sense of the word. This horror flick that has been described as torture porn is the story of a group of young people on holiday who end up being captured by an underground sadist group and subjected to inhuman treatment. This one tops the list for me, making me pretty damn thankful to be unable to travel.
2. The Hills Have Eyes (1977 and 2005)
Although hitting the road in a travel trailer sounds like the perfect way to take a Covid-proof holiday (albeit not very possible here in India), that will definitely be off the list after watching either version of this film. The story of a family and their dogs being systematically targeted by a group of deformed killers has been hailed as a cult classic, but it's bound to make you pretty damn thankful for your walls and all the surrounding houses.
3. The Berlin Syndrome (2017)
I discovered this while scrolling through options on Amazon Prime. It's a somewhat typical story of a holiday gone wrong when a young Australian woman is locked in a room by a sociopath. Over a few months, she is his prisoner. It might seem strange to include a film about being trapped in an apartment (a feeling that's all too familiar for many people around the world in 2020) in this list. But some of the film's most poignant moments come from the main character's discovery of beauty in the most mundane and unexpected sights, rediscovering spaces that have often been overlooked in favour of the Instagram-friendly picturesque views we search for on our holidays. Not to mention that it definitely removes any latent desire to stay with people I've just met while on holiday.
4. The Cabin in the Woods (2011)
A film that tells the story of a group of holidaying teenagers who are subjected to several zombie attacks orchestrated by a shadowy government(?) agency, this self-aware horror story has every trope from cautionary holiday tales, from the obligatory warning from strangely hostile locals to in-your-face foreshadowing. But, more importantly, at a time when we're essentially being told that staying at home could prevent the end of the world, The Cabin in the Woods has apocalyptic consequences that could have been stopped had the adventurous group of teens just stayed at home. So bonus points for the public service messaging.
5. The Shallows (2016) / Open Water (2003) / All shark movies
By all rights, I should probably include Jaws here. But somehow, I found these two movies even more terrifying. The Shallows narrates a classic holiday gone wrong story, where a surfer is attacked by a shark and then has to fight to survive. I watched The Shallows a little before going on holiday in Sri Lanka and, needless to say, I didn't get in the water. The iconic image of a giant shark shadow in the wave was enough to make me stick to swimming pools and beachside cafes. It also ensured that I wouldn't ever EVER (if travel is ever possible again) go to a deserted beach without telling at least 10 people beforehand.
Open Water, with its realistic shooting style and surprising ending, had a different kind of terror. Referring back to Jaws, one of the most terrifying moments is when Quint describes the harrowing experience of surviving a ship sinking only to see hundreds of fellow survivors get killed by sharks. Open Water takes a similar scenario, where a young couple is left behind when they go diving. The following events where they are attacked by sharks and jellyfish is genuinely terrifying. The fact that the film is based on real events, where a couple disappeared after being left behind by their boat crew, makes me question whether I really need to venture out in the open water.
6. NH10 (2015)
For some bizarre reason, this road trip horror film was our family Christmas movie a few years ago. The film is about a young couple who go on a road trip and end up getting entangled in a horrific honour killing case after they attempt to help a young woman. The film is full of suspense, well-executed twists and showcases a great performance by its star, Anushka Sharma. Additionally, it takes away any desire to hit the road with your significant other, if only to avoid violent attacks.
7. San Andreas (2015)
Although it is generally classified as a disaster movie, when viewed from the perspective of the two British sidekicks on holiday, it definitely makes visiting any earthquake-prone areas less appealing. San Andreas is a classic big-budget disaster film, complete with earthquakes, a dam collapsing and a tsunami. It also introduces the viewer to a new kind of extreme sport - tsunami boat rides! That being said, although the Brits did get a chance to hang out with Alexandra Daddario, I'd say the other events on their vacation makes travel a little less appealing.
Honorary mentions should include other disaster films like The Day After Tomorrow, Dante's Peak and 2012 and The Poseidon Adventure (the last two made me swear that I wouldn't EVER go on a cruise).
So there you have it. These might be films you've watched already - if you haven't, they make great rewatches once you've exhausted all other options. In the meantime, let's focus on staying positive (but not for Covid), staying at home as much as possible. To quote Samwise Gamgee, "Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines out, it will shine out the clearer." So here's hoping we get to shelve the travel horror stories soon and get back to seeing the world without risking our lives.
